What the hell is up with the umlaut?
Two words - Mötley Crüe

That's quite a first question. What's with the double prepositions?
This ain't English class, nancy boy. I'll tag-team prepositions, split my infinitives, dangle my participles, and drop F-bombs as I see fit. If you want fancy writing, go read the Weekly World News or The New York Times. Or you can start your own blog extolling the virtues of the Queen's English.

Why does the site layout look mangled in my web browser?
Let me guess - you're using Internet Explorer or a browser developed before the year 2000. The site is comprised of valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional and CSS code with a sprinkle of javascript, all generated on the fly via PHP. You need to have javascript enabled if you want to e-mail me and/or use the custom search engine. I recommend using Firefox or Opera (for Windows or Linux) or Safari (for Apple products). The layout has been tested in all the browsers covered by Browsershots. Browsers with little or no support for CSS (e.g. IE4, NN4, Dillo, etc.) will not display the layout correctly. If things still look mangled after you've exhausted all reasonable options for tweaking your system, feel free to send me a screen capture, and I'll see what I can do (probably chuckle and go right back to surfing the intarweb, but it's the thought that counts).

How did you create the fancy layout?
The php code was swiped from various online tutorials. The HTML and CSS were coded by hand. The "faux columns" method of creating the content/menu background was detailed by "A List Apart." The method of clearing floats was developed by Position is Everything. Rounded corner graphics were created with the help of Spiffy Corners. The Site Map uses a style developed by Alexander Sperl and refined by Robin. The e-mail encryptor was developed by Jim Tucek and refined by Dan Appleman. The custom search engine was created at the Google CSE site. The flash video player utilized in the SAPF page is the JW FLV Player for Flash created by Jeroen Wijering.

Why can't I see the images on your site?
Thanks to some overenthusiastic fans and message board posters, I had to block image and video hotlinking on my server. The settings in my site's htaccess file conflict with some firewalls, so (for example) if you are using ZoneAlarm, please check the boxes to allow my site and HostGator's servers to send private headers to your computer. If you are still having issues see FAQ question #3.

Did you have any inspiration along the way?
After a trip to the 2005 Tennessee-Alabama game in Tuscaloosa, I forwarded my A-Z recap to Warren St. John of Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer fame. He was vary gracious in his reply, which I won't publish here. I also enjoyed reading material from some of the pioneering college football bloggers, especially Spencer Hall, Brian Cook, Peter Bean, and Matt Hinton (formerly SMQ).

Why did you create a web site?
Way back in 2003, young whippersnappers, my friends and I started a weekly college football pool. I sent out weekly updates to the participants that often included links to stories and pictures from around the college football world. Eventually the e-mails got so long and contained so many links that Hotmail started tagging them as spam. Good job Microsoft! So I decided it was better to create a web site that the football pool users could visit at their leisure to get the latest, greatest updates regarding the (rarely) serious and (mostly) not-so-serious happenings in the college football world.

What is this pool you speak of? And can I participate?
My friends and I pick the winners for games involving Top 25 teams throughout the year and tally up the points at the end of the season. No money is exchanged. The contest is for bragging rights only. Right now the pool is closed to new members. The winner of the pool receives the coveted Beano Trophy, so named for Beano Cook's oh-so-incorrect prediction that Ron Powlus would win multiple Heisman Trophies while playing QB at Notre Dame. As a constant reminder of that glorious ridiculousness, a fictional Beano Cook picks every game correctly in the pool - his score thus serving as the highest possible tally that can be obtained in pool play.

What is Beano Cook's real first name?
Carroll.

Why are you so obsessed with college football?
Fond memories of Fall Saturday afternoons with family and friends. My first CFB memories are of Flutie to Phelan, the 1983 Fighting Illini, Jack Trudeau, David Williams, Allen Pinkett, Keith Byars, and a host of other players known to those who grew up in Big 10 country.

So which team is your favorite?
Illinois. Grew up in a small town in West-Central Illinois and got my chemistry degree (BS '96) from the U. of I. I would root for CalTech (PhD '03), but alas, the Beavers don't have a football team.

Why do you root for such a crappy team?
See above. And save me your taunts: Ill-annoy, Ill-whine-eye, etc. I've already heard them and I don't care. It's not like the team can get much worse.

Illinois sucks!
Not really a question but thanks for the feedback.

You suck!
See answer to previous question.

Does college football need a playoff?
No, no, a thousand times no. Don't get me started. All a playoff does is shift the bitching from the fans of the 3rd-ranked team to those of the 5th-, 9th-, or 17th-ranked team. The tradition, excitement, and unpredictability of the regular season are a huge part of what made me a fan in the first place. Don't muck it up by rewarding teams that couldn't take care of business in September.

Why are you always talking trash about [insert my favorite team here]?
Most likely because they deserve it. I will even throw pot shots at my alma mater, so it should be clear that I'm an equal opportunity offender. This site was started as a tracking point for friends who participate in a college football pool, so the rants are mainly for their amusement and often involve their teams of choice.

Do you make money off this site?
No. My hard-earned coin goes toward hosting costs. So don't hotlink my images and/or steal my bandwidth, or your site will become a gigantic Goatse advertisement.

How much is this site worth?
Zip. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

You stole my image/picture/story.
Sorry about that. It was not intentional. There are hundreds of football-related pics on my hard drive, and I have no idea where most of them came from. Send me a note if you created something that appears on my site, and I will give you the proper credit or remove it at your request.

Can I use material from your site?
Pirate and pilfer as you see fit, as long as you give me a little credit and aren't using my material to amass a personal fortune (and by fortune, I mean beer money).

Can I submit something to be shown/printed on your site?
Sure, but there's no guarantee I will use it. And you definitely won't be compensated for it.

How do I contact you?
Send me an e-mail at the address below. (Note - You need to have javascript enabled in order to generate the address)
E-mail me

I can't get the e-mail thingy to work.
Please note that javascript must be enabled in order to decrypt the address. This was done so I don't get overwhelmed with spam. Also note that some browsers do not seem to like the script (turn on the error console in your favorite browser for the reason why). I'm trying to rectify that, but don't hold your breath awaiting a solution. I don't grok javascript very well.

Great web site.
Thanks, Mom.